


leave me lonely

by drywitticisms



Category: Lovecraft Country (TV), Lovecraft Country - Matt Ruff
Genre: Abuse of trust, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Canon Compliant, Canon Genderbending, Consent Issues, Dubious Morality, Emotional Manipulation, Enemies to Lovers, F/F, Femslash, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Manipulative Relationship, Moral Ambiguity, Morally Ambiguous Character, Uninformed Consent, Violations of Consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:42:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26636782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drywitticisms/pseuds/drywitticisms
Summary: After Christina Braithwhite finishes cleaning up from her unexpected change, she seeks out Ruby in an attempt to explain herself and to possibly persuade her to stay.Set immediately after the events of 1x05, "Strange Case."
Relationships: Christina Braithwhite/Ruby Baptiste, Ruby Baptiste/Christina Braithwhite
Comments: 24
Kudos: 139





	leave me lonely

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, peeps! It's me again. Now, I am completely and wholly aware of the violations of consent and lack of informed consent when it comes to Ruby and Christina. I'm also completely and wholly aware of duplicity and ulterior motives Christina has when it comes to dealing with Ruby. I'm completely and wholly aware that Christina is an evil villain with deceit running through her ice, cold veins and blah blah blah. Did you know that I'm aware of all these things I just listed? Okay? Okay.
> 
> And yes, this was absolutely necessary to write because some people seem to think that shippers don't know any of these things as if that would be enough to stop us from shipping it in the first place. I'm aware of everything that anyone could possibly say about this pairing, and I STILL ship it. I still enjoy the chemistry between these two characters, despite what may happen and despite how it may end in the show. I'm well aware of all these things.
> 
>  **TL; DR** \- don't worry about my 'feelings' because I'm a big girl and I can handle the potential outcome for this pairing. I don't need you to warn me. And as always, **don't like, don't read.** No one is forcing you to read this. If this is offensive to you in _any_ way, then simply don't read it. Everything has been tagged properly and I am NOT responsible for your feelings if you ignore the tags and read it anyway knowing what you can and can't handle. 
> 
> As for everyone else, enjoy!
> 
> The title is taken from Ariana Grande's "Leave Me Lonely."

Magic occupied the delicate space between what is tangible and what cannot be seen. 

Conjuring magic was a _birthright_ \- a birthright passed down from generation to generation. Parents would teach their young early on how to utilize scientific properties to manipulate the thin veil of our world to tap into that of another.

But sometimes, a particularly determined yet gifted individual could prove that tenacity really does trump all. 

For all the bitterness and resentment Christina held for her father, he _did_ teach her a lot both intentionally **and** unintentionally. Unfortunately for him, her womanhood made her an unexpected force to be reckoned with. His misogyny is what resulted in his death and he never even saw it coming.

And that’s what she often used to her advantage - the misogyny of the men in the Order wouldn’t allow them to see the cunning wit and God given talent she harbored.

Christina was underestimated by men like her father quite often but not so much by women like Ruby. The intersectionality of race and gender causing one side to underestimate her and the other side to see her for who she truly was.

From the moment Christina met Ruby as her true self, she quickly picked up on the vibe that Ruby didn't trust her nor did she like her. Much like her sister, Ruby refused to take any of the olive branches she offered. 

It was almost as if they could see right through her and see the duplicity curling around her insides like tentacles. Neither woman wanted anything to do with Christina. 

Not that she blamed them because she would be wary of someone like her too. They had every right to be, and it meant that their instincts were a lot more well-tuned than she initially thought.

Which could pose a problem for her in the future.

However, she still assumed she could appeal to their shared womanhood in spite of their distrust. It couldn’t hurt to try.

But Christina had miscalculated and it resulted in the door being slammed in her face, figuratively and literally.

Christina knew her house of cards would eventually crumble because even her somewhat successful run as William was starting to falter. 

Ruby had been growing more and more suspicious with each passing day. Not even seductive compliments from William could distract Ruby from her desire to know the truth.

Her desire to look behind the curtain and gaze upon the winged beast didn't wane. It maintained a stronghold on Ruby, and it wouldn’t budge.

When her mask finally fell into piles of flesh and dermis on the expensive carpet in her foyer, the facade was shattered. 

Naturally, Ruby didn't take it so well.

Christina wasn't planning on her finding out this soon. If at all, if she were being honest with herself. She needed more time to plan for this inevitability but she wasn't fortunate enough to be blessed with the power to manipulate time yet.

Hence her need for the orrery. 

Afterwards, things were quiet for a while, Ruby had locked herself away in one of the spare rooms.

All it did was give Christina time to think of a strategy to make this work in her favor as she cleaned up. There were still things that needed to be done and she would be damned if this minor hiccup ruined those plans.

She worked too hard to get here just for everything to go up in smoke. She needed to find a way to convince Ruby to stay. 

She didn't want to admit it, but she needed Ruby. She couldn’t do this without her.

After twenty or so minutes had passed, Christina decided to bite the bullet and went searching for Ruby.

It didn't take long for her to find her as they were the only two in the house. Well, the only two who were awake and aware.

Raising her fist to knock, the door swung open before she could make contact with the wooden surface. 

Startled, Christina met a pair of hardened brown eyes. 

Breaking eye contact, she looked down and noticed Ruby had some of her clothing folded over her forearm. 

"What .. what are you-?"

"I'm leaving." Ruby said interrupting her, "Am I free to go? Or am I a prisoner now that I know too much?"

"I told you before - you're free to do whatever you please." Christina quietly stated.

"No. **You** never told me that." Ruby said with a snarled lip, " _William_ did. Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot. William doesn't _exist_."

"He existed to you, and that's all that matters."

Raising her hand to cut her off and quiet her words, Ruby looked past the blonde woman in front of her.

"Cut the bullshit. No more manipulative sweet talk. I'm not interested in hearing it anymore."

"Everything I said to you as William was the truth." Christina said gently grabbing her hand forcing Ruby to meet her eyes, "I meant every word of it; it was the **truth**."

Ruby violently jerked back as if she had been shot causing Christina to lose her grip on Ruby's hand.

"You must think I'm a fool. Oh, let's play games with the colored girl from the South Side. I'm bored with my easy and dull life so let's use the colored girl to entertain myself for a little while." She recited in a pompous voice, "Is that what you told yourself? And William if he's in there too."

"No!" 

"Did you succeed? Did you get everything you wanted?" Ruby continued. 

"No, I didn't. Contrary to popular belief, there are things that are even out of **my** reach, Ruby. I know what you think of me, but I think you have the potential to do whatever you want and so much more with my help. You’re a smart woman; you can see I’m right."

Ruby raised a brow at her, unmoved by her words. Christina sighed as she motioned towards a chaise in the corridor that they could sit on. 

Ruby silently obeyed before sitting on the furthest end from her causing Christina to sigh but follow suit anyway.

Finally sitting down, Christina thought about what she wanted to say. 

"We can help each other. There are things you want and there are things you can help me achieve."

"What makes you think I still want anything to do with you? And _this_?" Ruby asked motioning around them with her hands. 

"Because I _saw_ you. I saw the way you looked when you became Hillary. That power you had to make your dreams come true. That power you had to do things you couldn't fathom up until that very moment. You **loved** it, and you blossomed. It was a beautiful thing to watch, and it was all because of you and your willingness to tap into your natural power."

"I don't want to be that cynical white woman who doesn’t know what she has and how lucky she is to have it. I don't want to have the world falling over themselves to wait on me hand and foot while still wanting more and never being satisfied with what I have."

"You wouldn't be. You would still be Ruby deep down inside."

"Somehow, I doubt that. And maybe I don't want to be you, because clearly you’re just like the rest of them." Ruby said with pursed lips.

"Who I am is a woman who wants to fight for what's rightfully hers. Something I know you can relate to. We both want something that we know we deserve. We both want something that should be ours because we worked too hard to simply walk away from it." 

“And there’s your privilege talking. That’s exactly what I’m talking about - you have everything, yet you still want more. It’s never enough for you and women like you.”

“I know you think me to be spoiled and entitled, and maybe you’re right. But this is different, Ruby. If only you would allow yourself to see what I’m trying to show you, then you can understand where I’m coming from.”

Ruby simply stared at Christina wordlessly. 

Christina wondered if she had gotten through to her. That was the one thing she did like about being her true self around Ruby - the ability to hear Ruby’s unfiltered and unadulterated thoughts. 

Ruby never minced words when it came to her, and Christina found it fascinating and breathtakingly beautiful because she wasn’t used to that from other women.

Even now, Christina was still plotting and scheming; there was always an ace up her sleeve if she couldn’t get through to Ruby. Just one more hand to play, and she just put all her cards on the table.

"What does any of this have to do with me? Why use me? Why become William at all?"

"The same reason you chose to become Hillary. You became Hillary because she opened doors that would have stayed closed to you because you're not white. Being William opened doors for me that would have otherwise stayed closed because I'm a woman." Christina explained. 

"You didn't answer my question. Why me?"

"Maybe I saw something in you that made me believe that you would be the perfect person to help me achieve my goals."

Christina knew she couldn't tell Ruby that her connection to Letitia was what truly made her approach her.

Which would be partially true. 

She _did_ choose her because of who her sister was. But then again, Christina didn't **hate** the fact that she had to become romantically and sexually involved with Ruby either. 

"So, you had sex with me because you saw something in me that could help you?"

"Not exactly." She said, "Despite what you may think, I wasn't exactly in pain when I spent time with you as William. It didn't look like I was bothered by it, did it?"

"No."

"So, you see, I _am_ attracted to you and you were attracted to me. Albeit, you were attracted to William's physical body but the words, compliments, and 'sweet talk' as you call it were all me. Those were my words and **my** thoughts."

"You could have just come to me as yourself."

"Ruby, you and I both know that wasn't possible. After hearing my proposal, you would have taken one look at me and laughed in my face. You wouldn't have trusted me."

"You're absolutely right. Which is why you decided to abuse my trust and violate me anyway."

"I apologize for that. Truly. I shouldn't have done it and it was wrong but you.. there is something about you that makes it difficult to make the logical choice sometimes." Christina confessed. 

"Don’t give me the kicked puppy shtick either, because it’s pathetic and I see right through it. None of your tactics work on me anymore."

Christina slid closer to Ruby's soft body. One of the main things Christina enjoyed about being with Ruby was how curvy and shapely her body was. 

Her own body was nothing like Ruby's. 

While she liked her body, she never thought about herself that much. She had a body and it worked. What else did she need to think about?

She couldn't say the same for Ruby though. Ruby was more like a work of art, and Christina thought about her a lot.

From Ruby's dark brown eyes to her luscious curves that were swaddled in smooth, blemish-free skin, Christina had never seen anyone like her before.

"Are you sure about that? Not even some of them?" She asked reaching up and brushing the hair out of Ruby's eyes. 

"Just remember - I've _felt_ you and I've **tasted** every inch of your skin. I know what makes you fall apart."

Ruby said nothing but Christina knew she was affected by her words. 

"Now." Christina said, "You can either run out of here screaming and swearing to never speak to me again or you can climb on top of me and give us what we _both_ want."

"And what's that?" Ruby asked with a blank expression. 

"We both want to make you feel good. We both want to watch you come apart." She said hearing Ruby's breath hitch. 

"You always do this - whenever the conversation gets too real and too **deep** , you try to seduce me. What is it that you _really_ don't want me to know?"

"I can't tell you everything just yet, but everything will be revealed in due time." Christina said, "In the meantime, I don't want you to leave. I want to keep you around for a little while longer."

"I thought you said you weren't going to insult me by asking me to be a kept woman? That’s exactly what you’re asking of me right now, and I’m not down with it. You can’t keep me here against my will; I won’t have it."

"I'm not asking you to be a kept woman. A kept woman doesn't get anything out of those types of arrangements. You're getting quite a bit out of this one, and we both walk away from it being satisfied."

"You want to lace me in the finest silks and take me to bed every night, am I right?"

"I want to do whatever you want me to. If that means taking you to bed every night, I don’t have an issue with that."

"I'll stay but only to hear what you have to say; I deserve an explanation for all of this. I want to know everything about what's happening here. I refuse to be kept in the dark."

"Whatever you want, Ruby." Christina replied with a knowing twinkle in her eye and a small smile on her lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo ... what did you think? Did you love it? Did you hate it? I want to hear everything you have to say about it. I want to know your thoughts and feelings about it. Tell me, tell me, tell me!


End file.
